Which Way to the Jeans Department?

amazon.com/Diesel-Zathan-Regular-Bootcut-Denim

As I move along in this new part of the weight control journey that I've been on for a while now, I've encountered many things that were unexpected (to say the least). One of those things has left me somewhat quiet on this blog. In the spirit of the words of Thumper from the movie Bambi, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all," seemed good advice.

See, I've been following all the things that I laid out in my own book, carefully watching the calories I use through exercise, and making specific notation about the calories I eat. When I say that I've been absolutely diligent I'm not just saying that. I've been watching what goes in and what comes out like my weight depended upon it:-) The problem is, that in spite of all that, I stopped losing weight. This was not like a plateau, but rather more like a roadblock. I've been at the same weight day in and day out for weeks! And then yesterday I gained a pound! OMG! Am I losing it? Well, obviously no. 

Did it bother me? Are you kidding? Of course it bothered me. It made me feel like I used to back in the old days before I discovered that I could lose it if I wanted to. It made me feel like what I knew was wrong somehow, that I missed something important. 

Interestingly, today I went into a clothing store because I needed a new pair of  jeans. The first pair I picked up were 38 waist (too tight before I understood what to do), and get this - they were indeed too tight! I was heading in the wrong direction?! The world was backward and upside down. I got that awful sinking feeling inside (you know the one). Ah, but wait... but no, the actuality was that that particular pair of pants was mis-marked. Just the universe having its little laugh at my expense. Har-har. I tried on three other pairs of jeans, all of which were marked 36 (what I've been wearing) and ya know what? They were too loose! I am making progress no matter what the scale says. I expect that the number that shows up each morning will start reflecting the new reality that is currently showing on my body. Oh and I didn't buy any jeans at all. I figure to wait a bit and get the ones I really want. Seems worth it don't ya' think?

Day #17 - What The Scale Doesn't Show

The Scale of Modern Art at MOMA

The scale is a machine. I will readily admit that my new scale is a marvel of modern technology. This is a scale that resembles a piece of modern art. It will tell me the time of day and the date, illuminated in a very pleasant blue color. I'm pretty sure that that particular shade of blue was developed by aliens from space to calm nervous Earthlings. There are several buttons set in a circular design that will quite efficiently inform me of my body fat, and my water and muscle percentages. It offers something called Interpretation (perhaps it speaks several languages?). There is a Trend display as well as a Graduation setting of 0.1% or 100g. Its capacity is 150 kg (or as we would say 330.69 pounds.). It can handle all this information for as many as ten people with five different possible Activity Levels. It has an automatic on and off switch. (Fancy, huh?) And, beyond all that it can even, very accurately, tell a person their weight! I told you, this thing is amazing! Just living with it the house is an experience. We all walk around it, speaking in hushed tones. Sometimes, if we chance to run up the circular stairway in the back of the house it will suddenly spring to life, beckoning seductively to anyone nearby to come and stand on the semi-circular standing surface. Do I live right, or what?
So we agree, this thing is very cool, but it cannot see all, it cannot know everything, such as the fact that my pants are just a bit looser today! It cannot measure that, and hopefully it cannot read this blog, because I'm pretty sure that it does not like to be spoken of in a frivolous manner.

Day #7 - Expectations Are High

New Day - J*

Once again the drumming of my nails on the table top drones on and on. Water has been dripping a single drop at a time from the roof over the fourth floor onto the cowling of the air-conditioner. Drip. Drip. Drip. The cats stare out the window, and wonder excitedly about the potential hidden in the scurrying activities of the squirrels, be they allies or... prey. 
I anticipate the visage to be held in the magic glass of the scale. 
Tomorrow, if my calculations are correct, should bear tidings of great (though they be but modest) losses. We shall see what the morning brings. 
As for me,  I'll go and watch as new buds make their way into the light of the coming Spring. 

Day #28 - The Day of Reckoning

activerain.com

Last night my son Josh happily announced that he had suddenly gained six pounds. He is after all quite thin, and I while I could understand his joy and support his efforts to gain weight, I had no choice but to follow through on my threat to the scale that if it continued in its inappropriate actions I would return it for an exchange. 
This afternoon I went to the store with said scale under my arm and returned it from whence it came. The new scale is identical in every way except that the price had gone up by $10 (which I was not asked to pay) and it is new. In its newness it has not had time to go digitally insane. For the time being, it will be identified as the magnificent product of German engineering,  sitting in a place of honor outside the bathroom door....  
I did not bother to weigh myself today since the old scale was clearly unreliable, and the new one did not enter the house until too late in the day to measure anything. Tomorrow morning will be its first test. 
Either I will be looking at measurements that relate to what I've believed over the last several weeks, or I will be forced to realize that when I started on my newest offensive against weight gain I was six pounds heavier than I thought I was. It's not that it would be so terrible, since I have been able to ascertain that over the last three weeks I have at least been losing weight, but the starting weight would have to be adjusted upward. 
Truly annoying, but not a deal killer:-) Okay? 
See ya' tomorrow.

Day #17 - Ode to Thee Oh Scale of My Dreams

flickrhivemind.net/User/HRSG/Interesting

Dear Scale:
First, let me begin by offering my sincere apologies for the terrible things I've been saying about you over the last few days. How was I to know that you were just fooling around with me, antagonizing me with displays of an additional of three pounds when I expected to be seeing only a few scant tenths of a pound loss. Surely, you can understand why I would tell my friends of your wayward attitudes and wanton ways. I know now that you have a sense of humor, or why would you have tortured me in the first place? With that in mind I 'm hoping that we might continue our relationship of mutual respect and admiration. Have I mentioned how nicely your platform gleams in the morning light as it streams through the window in the early dawn? I clearly remember how your digital numbers sparkled with a wonderful intensity this morning. The pretty little buttons around the face of your dial looked so perfect, and particularly desirable today I could barely keep myself from pushing a few of them, even though I have no real concept of what any of them do. My weight today as you well know was down to 184.6! What a way you have with numbers!
Happy Valentine's Day my love,
J*

Day #16 - Successes No Matter How Small...

Just a favorite place:-)

Today the number stands at 185.2 in spite of the scale's intention to add three or four random pounds just to get a reaction out of me (quite successfully, I might add), I am intent of celebration my victories and ignoring the naysayers (are you hearing me demento-scale?!)
Today then stands as supreme when compared to all other days, well at least to yesterday during which a certain scale was having its little joke with me. what then is really different about today?
Nothin' - I'm good, same as usual:-)

Day #15 - The Scale Taketh Away and The Scale...

 Image taken from lalalandhistory.blogspot.com

Well everyone knows yesterday's grand and spectacular loss of weight, according to the that two-timing, double dealing scale sitting in a secure, though undisclosed location, outside the bathroom door. 


Oh sure, yesterday it was all smiles and pleasantries, and today it's displaying numbers impossible to comprehend as realistic. Is it looking for a fight? 


The way things stand now is that I'm making the choice to fully believe the results displayed on days that align with I want to see, and to ignore its hateful lying behavior on days like this one. 


Hey, I feel good. My pants are not tight. Life is great. Let it be duly noted that the scale is treading on some very thin ice. Either the two of us will be stepping into the street at high-noon to settle things or it may soon be seeing the inside of the store from which it originally emanated with, returned as defective stamped on its readout window.


"And on and on..."


j*

Day #14 - Now that I'm so incredibly superior...

If Disney asks me to remove it - I will. OK?

Oh yes, it is good to know that I am superior to an inert chunk of plastic and metal operated by sensors and a couple of batteries, because as you know, at this time yesterday I was having some serious doubts... 
As it turns out I have dropped to 185.8 - in spite of that ridiculous 3 pound increase that was seen yesterday, like a bad dream. Alas, the abject horror of that memory lingers although the chill has now gone from my bones in spite of the change in the weather. 
My step is lighter, my pants are looser and I am, quite obviously - the King. As Mel Brooks said, "It's good to be the King." Couldn't a put it better myself:-)

Day #12 - Really? Two tenths of a pound?

Yep that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Today for all my diligent work yesterday, all the water, all the exercise, all the bragging about those two tenths of a pound I lost. Well gang, today they've come back for a visit. Is - it annoying? Well, yeah I have to admit that it is - a small amount, but I'll get over it.
Okay then - I'm over it. These things really don't take that much time for me, because of the way my pants fit today. They're not tight. Do I really care what the scale says? Well yeah I do, but I care more about how I feel and I feel great. Let's just see what happens tomorrow.


I do feel great today. Does the scale lie? 


Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn...  Hated the movie, but love the sentiment:-p

Day #9 - The day after that special day

El Greco nobleman with hand on chest 

Right... the day after the day I thought I'd see that oh-so-special and significant drop on the scale, and didn't. Don't rub it in... -p What am I gonna do about it? Nothing at all, and I do mean nothing. I'm not even getting on the scale today. Now I know that this attitude sounds all stalwart and noble and all, but I suppose I should admit that on weekdays I get up early, so early in fact that getting on the scale is not possible. Clearly, you cannot know what the heck I mean by that, but listen: we have a scale that needs to be activated each time previous to stepping on-board. Activation requires a person to step down hard on the scale which in turn makes a loud banging noise. Although I am up Georgina is still sleeping, and the scale is in the bedroom (to discover why it's in the bedroom you'll need to read the book). Anyway, you see where I'm going with this, right? I just don't want to wake up the lovely Georgina. 


Hmmm, seems like no matter what do I come off as being incredibly noble. Ah well.-)


 Life goes on. We'll see what we see tomorrow.

Day #8 - And I think I'm so smart...

dotsunderconsonants.wordpress.com

I was full of expectation this morning, and no it had nothing to do with the Super Bowl. It was about getting there from here.

I circled the unsuspecting scale wthat I with cunning and stealth. Surely, it had no idea that it was being stalked, however it did not properly report on my previously  forecast, and much ballyhooed, weight loss. Instead it quite frivolously reported a .4 pound gain! After a solid week of diligent focus on what I ate and how much I burned, I now weigh 187.4 pounds! 

Yes, I know I went the wrong way! Really, it's quite rude of you to have pointed that out... don't you think? Yes. Fine, I accept your apology.  

Nevertheless, I know I'm on the right track, so I am enabled to continue until I see the results I know are possible. As usual patience is my lesson, and I shall endure the eternity of waiting for tomorrow. What, you ask, is that sound? That, my friends, is the sound of the drumming of my fingers on the desk...

Drumming fingers, truth be told, has no relationship to calorie burning. With that in mind  I'm heading up stairs to challenge the elliptical machine to a duel. Wish me luck.

Progress

Across the street.

On the days I make progress on the scale I feel generally superior to all things living. When I do not make visible progress I become morose and unsettled. Whether I see my progress or not I continue to make my way toward the goal I've set for myself. All that needs to be done is exactly what I'm doing. My biggest lesson in life is, of course...patience.